How to Say Bad News

It's early in the morning and the telephone is ringing.

"Hello, Senior Bartolo? This is Ben, your caretaker in your vacation house here in Mauritius."
"Oh Ben, how are you. What is the matter, why did you call. Is there any problem?"
"Huummm, I called just to let you know that your parrot pet was died."
"What?!?!? My best parrot?!?!? My very expensive parrot?!!? The one that won in the last bird show???
"Yes, Senior Bartolo. Exactly!!!"
Something kind of pissed and shocked he said, "Shit, too bad!!! I spend a lot of money to this bird. Any way, that's life! Wait, what is the cause of the death of the bird?"
"Ah, it died because he ate rotten meat..." reply Ben.
"Rotten meat? And who is the stupid person that feed the bird the rotten meat?"
"No one, Senior. It just fly and fed from the dead horse," Ben said.
"Dead horse? What dead horse, please explain it Ben?
"Senior, all of your thoroughbred horses died. They died because they became exhausted pulling cart of water." Said Ben.
"Are you out of your mind?!!? What cart of water are you talking about?!!?
"Senior, the one that we used to put out the fire!"
"Oh my God, what fire are you talking about!!??!"
"The fire that burn your vacation house, Senior! One of the lighted candle fall down and started the fire that burned down your house!"
"What?!?! What candle? We have power line in our vacation house? How happened that you use candle!!?? What for is that candle!?!?"
"The candle is for the funeral, Senior!"
"What?!?! And who's dead?"
"Senior, don't be shock. But your mother is dead. She suddenly come to the house last night, and didn't say something that she will come. It was middle of the night and I suspect that someone want to steal your property."



"I shot her, Senior! She's dead!"